50GGS: Cross Fire

Cross Fire (SubaGames, 2009?)
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Is Free always good?

—Visuals—

6 / 10

Graphically, there’s nothing wrong… though, nothing astounding either… just playing the safe card…

—-Audio—-

4 / 10

Sound effects have nothing wrong with it, nothing to really complain about… but there’s just nothing there to make it get stuck in your head like… what Portal has done

—Gameplay—

6 / 15

Being a full on MOFPS with strong similarities to Counter-Strike and no doubt…. it is far too similar to Counter-Strike. It has been popular for a reason. Feels like a near copy with a couple of noticeable differences.
There’s a lot of grind, for the grind-o-holics, good enough to help you to kill loads of time… if you are after it… though the main complaint has been the number of hacker and whingers within the game… But come on… nearly all the pro servers I go on…. there’s either one or the other that seems to ruin it for the others… With the hackers… they are damn near impossible to weed out… how about they learn to come up with a cheat detector of their own… Just a thought…

—Longevity—

2 / 5

With the hackers + grinding + latency issues… maybe… for me… I’ll go back to TF2

—Stab Time—

5 / 10

Woo!

Grind
For absolute FPS fanatics
Interesting Maps
At least they have a female character in the game
Bigger gun selection than Counter Strike
It is free (is that even a good thing?)

Boo!

Too many Hackers & Whingers
Grind-tastic
No Oceania servers…
Horrible Latency
nProtect is just rubbish
Just a CS clone
Lack of maps
No mapping community to keep the game going
Lag shots = instant miss + instant unknown death

—Summary—

V: 6 / 10
A: 4 / 10
G: 6 / 15
L: 2 / 5
S: 5 / 10

Total: 23 / 50

I’ll stick to Counter Strike Source with the Warcraft mod on it, that’s a fun grind!

Cross Fire (SubaGames, 2009?)
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An Online FPS that’s a mock of Counter Strike, what fun…

First to start off… I have no idea as to why I even bothered to check this game out… maybe for laughs mainly… but hell… now that I’ve play tested out this game, it comes down to the point of just reviewing it and then back stab it for being good, bad, or just plain old crap…

Cross Fire is a multiplayer online First Person Shooter with the intent of just copying Counter Strike in most ways but with different maps, graphics, visuals, characters, teams, characters (except for SAS… ha!) slightly more items but the biggest grind up the arse of any MOFPSes which ever existed… which I think… must be just two… though… still, couldn’t be bothered playing those… wait… just one now! The slate is now a blank slate and gone bye bye!

What makes this game different from that blank slate is the fact that it is just a pure clone of Counter-Strike with idiocracy level scaled to high, makes the noobs just piss off regular players…

The game modes within this game include Free-for-all, Team Death Match, Elimination, Sabotage, Detonation (or whatever the hell it is) and ghost mode. All of these game modes are self explanatory with the exception of ghost mode where the evil team are invisible and can only knife whilst the other team goes out and goes all guns blazing… until they run outta ammo. Also, something to the mention of blowing something up.

Initial jumping in, everything seems fine and dandy until I noticed a lag or above normal latency, but it seems okay so powering on, going through the tutorial system… I must say… it isn’t professional FPS friendly and I was instantly lost within the first section until I realised what was going on… then comes bonus credits to purchase a weapon… If I had of known, I wouldn’t have actually bothered to purchase a gun… but being lost… I purchased one… but it was still good…

If I had of been told that you would of initially started off with the standard M4, sniper rifle plus a few grenades to boot… I wouldn’t of actually bought any guns… but hell… at least there was a decent amount of guns.

This game with a free-to-play MOFPS, this has a really frustrating grinding system to get people to pay of get some stuff and keep things exclusive to ranks or whatnot to maybe… get some to people to actually pay to play things with a slight advantage, but given that it is free… I wonder if it was actually worth my time play this game at all… but never-the-less… all this pondering doesn’t actually get to the nitty-gritty of how the game is actually like, so might as well get to the game now…

Starting off with a flying start, I started off gun blazing and just did whatever like an absolute idiot without the need to care about the surroundings by attacking anything that I saw, including friendlies since this doesn’t actually tell me anything. Thinking that it was a game that was heavily populated by novices… but it was just the server itself, remember to move to another server if you think that a lot of people are complete novices as a side note.

The graphics within the game is okay for a free MOFPS, clipping being absolutely horrible and there is the constant problem of running into team mates, causing a great deal of grief more times than not. Death animation just a static bugger and does the same thing over and over, making Counter Strike the option all round with the occasional death-defying (quite literally) impossible death poses ever, creating comical situations at the best of times. With one single death pose, gets boring and the respawn times… meh… though, they have tackled the issue about spawn campers by giving them invincibility for a small amount of time.

This game being new and all, have come across two major annoying groups… Hackers and Whingers… I could of chosen the word noobs, but there have been some quiet and honourable novices around, so whingers it is…

nProtect is attached to this game and “was” suppose to get rid of the hackers… but it just doesn’t stop them… so… question… why doesn’t it stop the hackers from ruining the game? Maybe another system that seems more worthy and a bit more cost effective… Use that instead… geez…
Whingers… the same level of idiocracy as the hackers and can just as be destructive due to the tendency to spam false accusations about players is more annoying than say the smell of crap… you know it is there and maybe it is more preferable than the whingers. Anyone disagree with that?

Some of the audio within the game, I can’t disagree with, but it isn’t that good either… but meh…

The grinding within the game does try to keep players in, but I’m into the casual and intense stand-offs or land stands, so it is either Counter-Strike of Team Fortress 2 which does perform better… plus Team Fortress 2 is having the updates coming out.

—Summary—

V: 6 / 10
A: 4 / 10
G: 6 / 15
L: 2 / 5
S: 5 / 10

VAGLS: 23 / 50
46%

So, if you live the grind… Then go for this game… I’m just going to go at this game for a little while more until I can’t stomach the game…

50GGS: Forza 2

Forza 2 Motorsport (Turn 10, 2007)
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—Visuals—

8 / 10

This game was made to be as perfect as possible is terms of everything, even the graphics… and to be honest, I couldn’t find anything wrong… but it does lack weather conditions… pity that the cycle of could not be shown in this game…

—-Audio—-

5 / 10

Nothing wrong in terms of the sound, some recognisable music and but I didn’t notice any thing nice to calm the nerves when racing… This is a let down…

—Gameplay—

7 / 15

This game does lack the two player ability on the one machine, though… it takes just the one machine to be able to run a single player since it was originally engineered to test everything that the Xbox 360 has to offer… having it done to early and the PS3 only being introduced… it does under value the Xbox 360 a bit…
In terms of features, I was actually wrong… to an extent…
This does have features to boot, but it does draw the line and can not go further due to the brick wall at the end of the end and all those attempting to try and break it will end up really sore… this game just runs to the brick wall and just stops as it is about to stop dead flat at it…
This game features Exhibition mode, Time Trials (no surprise), Free Run (and again), Career Mode (and again) and online mode (and what did I say?). Well… everything an online racer should be having… like I said… no surprise there…
There is always the optional wheel you can attempt to attach to this game… but I found it far more difficult to play… partially because it is crazy to find a place to put it… pity… anyways… it is just me so I can’t fully provide a 100% review on this one… But it does work…

—Longevity—

2 / 5

I’m sorry… but there’s just a lot of unlockables… and if you have many other games just lying around, you’ll pass this game up and since it can’t be played with friends on the same system… it loses it fun factor with a friend on friend approach.

—Stab Time—

3 / 10

Woo!

Now with real damage
Ability to choose your own improvements on cars
Some hard race tracks available
Allows players to choose their own set-ups

Boo!

Lack of 2 player mode on just a single system
Being too powerful, not giving more
Dumb AIs
Single Track minded AIs following a string
Emphasis to hurt anyone who breaks rules
Gentle nudge or Heavy quick Crash = same time penalty
Lack of tutorial about the class system…
Perfectionism on all fronts
Ai players can’t make mistakes
Lack of weather
No night races…
Too smart of its own good
Nothing outside the realm of norm
No customisable race courses

—Summary—

V: 8 / 10
A: 5 / 10
G: 7 / 15
L: 2 / 5
S: 3 / 10

Total: 25 / 50

Sounds good… on paper… but perfection doesn’t sell itself no matter the situation

Long Version Coming Soon

Gamer Grunt:Time to be Proven Wrong

Ages back, I’ve made claims about some games being under-rated….

It is about time I were to back up that statement as I’m going to experience the full grunt of what is suppose to be a good experience to gaming…

So get ready to see how my statements stack up to my claims… but I have a feeling that there’s an area which may suffer heavily… but that’s just my prediction.

Get ready to see me flounder!

If you claim something, provide the proof!

50GGS: Castle Crashers

Castle Crashers (The Behemoth, 2008)
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Why the hell did I play this game?

—Visuals—

8 / 10

For a flash game made for the Xbox 360, there were no noticeable faults within the realm of graphics. Before someone complains about gameplay issues in graphics…. that’s the wrong sections. There’s a problem with someone picking the colour of the ally NPCs and getting mixed up along with who’s who… That’s a graphical issue due to the fact that there’s no indicators to highlight that issue.

—-Audio—-

3 / 10

Sorry… but there’s only so long some can go for a loo break and get the others to suffer the silly 10 minute loop or whatever it is and not feel the effects… but at least the sound effects aren’t in the wrong spots.

—Gameplay—

8 / 15

Okay… I have to admit this… I was actually drunk when playing this game… and when I say drunk… I mean… 100% smashed off my face to be fair. Don’t recommend people to do the same unless they consider playing this game and wanna act silly. Now that I’ve issue the warning and pre-text to playing this game, time to get into the nitty gritty.
If you are planning playing by yourself… you either are looking for a 20h ragefest or have completely no life whatsoever… that’s not even being harsh… the fact that I had to be completely smashed with my friends whilst playing this game says something and it isn’t good…. to be fair… our game collection of games on the day wasn’t something to be proud of… so Castle Crashers was something to keep all 4 or 3 players occupied whilst being a bit tipsy (term used a bit lightly). So, play with friends for max fun.
This game may of had a tutorial system, something which is something on my standards as very important… didn’t bother using that because of one thing… that game wasn’t even on my system to begin with, so he told us what each button did and beats the button mashing by the technicality of just 1 point… slight intellectual button mashing. The rating system in terms of button mashing, I’ll go another day.
This game plays like a regular beat-em up platformer where you just take your character of whatever they are and just roam and kick some arse with a twist… all the Newground favourites are there to make their presence known… though… where’s Spamtaro and that crazy sound?
There are issues with the hit detection, hit ranges, some sprinting issues in terms of appearance and row hitting detection. This becomes gravely annoying when you believe that you are on the same row or close enough to make contact with a monster, but that goes way off the mark to the point that laundry slashing with imaginary swords would be a slight and fair comparison.

—Longevity—

2 / 5

Once completed, who’d be bothered? Damn you achievements!

—Stab Time—

6 / 10

Woo!

Newgrounds stuff!
Clean and crisp
Casual gaming
Fair game when a bit tipsy with friends
Button Mashing?
This game was never meant to be serious
Good to beat friends over the head with
Comical stuff

Boo!

No spamtaro time
Row hitting detection
Tutorial System
Sound becomes hella annoying
Button Mashing?
Needs better sound tracks
Some annoying sections in games

—Summary—

V: 8 / 10
A: 3 / 10
G: 8 / 15
L: 2 / 5
S: 6 / 10

Total: 27 / 50

Game beaten when drunk? This game is drunken gaming friendly!

Castle Crashers (The Behemoth, 2008)
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Why the hell did I play this game?

It is about time that some casual games are to be covered once in a while… though doing it with mates when it was an exclusive 24h gaming binge with game titles available only to be shamed upon by all the pro gamers which makes us fairly low of the low in terms of being called gamers… but nevertheless, Castle Crasher’s wrecking time…

Castle Crashers is a beatem-up style RPG platformer players just take control of a character of whatever they are with the intent of clearing the world of the evils which surround the land… with the main issue of the invasions of the safe lands by really weird creatures from Newgrounds… though… where’s Spamtaro and that crazy sound? Spamtaro is quite popular and makes no appearance whatsoever… though the face mash is there… If no one knows who Spamtaro is… Newgrounds!

This game allows for up to 4 players with a single player option available… though why would you? there’s just too much work… no bots available to help clear some areas or tag along and follow you in case there’s trouble… better with as much as you can or just pay some bum to help you play or get your mother or siblings to help along… they should enjoy that sorta thing since it is all about mocking and making fun of everything…

The tutorial system is shoddy as hell and you end up just learning the ways of the game by simply… playing the game…. though all the combos… you’ll need a game guide in case… though as you level up, attacks becomes available to the player and allows the plotting of stat improvements from strength, magic, defence and agility/range. When playing this game, each play decided to specialise in a specific stat and guess who pulled up as the saviour? The guy with the rampart defence… though… it could of been the character or the player who was playing it at the time… me … or both…

During the playing of the game, there we lots of main issues with the game… but mainly the row hit detections and it being very very precise as hell… really miss the old days of a bigger row hit detection, though… it could of been to stop row spamming by ranged units… O well… then there’s the rage players who ends up going all out stupid with their button mashing or randomness of button pushing… same thing… though, the disturbing part of one of those players being present there is due to the main fact that… all the people there should know well enough not to act like complete morons… Though… it is suppose to be a fun game… so who cares…

The game does allow for back tracking and get items, unlockable and certain things, though at least it doesn’t suffer from Phantom Hourglass syndrome of the need to always recomplete levels already accessed and then scripted to certain time limits… great way to tick off players… But at least it isn’t very cruel to players, though with a limit of the number of potions within the game does because a really big issue, except for those who decide to become tanks.

So is this game skew towards tanks? well… actually, no… this game does stop some people from being a stat purist as some areas are very important in certain part of the games, though, strength specialists due have a habit of dying a lot. But at least some areas are balanced in terms of what stats are being used, so sometimes, being a specialist will become a very major burden in certain areas.

Graphically, there are no clear faults with the game, but the row issue is very major, though, it has nothing to do with the graphics. So it is in the clear. The music does get very annoying but when you’re a bit wasted, what chance would you care?

On the whole, do actually give the game a go. Play it long term, make sure that you are with friends and might want to try it with some drinks on the side… Those a bit younger, don’t drink alcohol and just play with friends.

—Summary—

V: 8 / 10
A: 3 / 10
G: 8 / 15
L: 2 / 5
S: 6 / 10

Total: 27 / 50

I’m sorry, but the need to prove your e-Penis is bigger than mine because they actually don’t mean a damn thing in real life… go at it… otherwise, play this game as a party game since it beats Street Fighter IV.